Why Isn't She In Jail?

Great question. We have tried to pursue any and all means possible to try and have her held accountable for anything.... anything at all, but she gets to walk away.

The checks that she wrote to herself and forged Dad's name - the DA said that if he had given her his debit card even one time to buy groceries, he had given her access to the account and that it was also marital property.

The forged state document for his retirement and the hidden money from disability while yes it could be prosecuted, we would have to prove that Dad did not benefit from any of the money at all, so if she paid a light bill, bought groceries or anything that Dad benefited from the money, it would make the case harder to win. Oh and remember, she paid for the beach house, so Dad benefited there ... And the state would have to be the one to press charges.

The falsified bank statements - she didn't mail them and the only person she perpetrated a fraud on was my dad in which there is no legal protection within a marriage for that.

On and on it went and most everything else was past the statute of limitations. We found it out all too late.

We even went to talk about pursuing a civil suit. Part of the divorce settlement was a promissory note with interest that she is to pay Dad. She will give him $40 here and there. One time she got a "bonus" at work (she gets a lot of those) and gave him a couple hundred I think, but nothing even close to the monthly payment that is supposed to be paid. The civil attorney told us that yes we could file a suit, but she already owed the promissory note and while not getting anything off of that and a civil suit would just waste our time and money, and she still wouldn't pay anything.

Talk about frustrating, there really isn't anything we can do. Which is part of the reason we asked Dad about doing the blog, because she is living a fabulous life now. She doesn't live with Dad, so doesn't have to hide things from him anymore (although she still lies about stuff and he's blind to it). If the ladies at her work are as generous and giving as she says they are I would be in shock. According to her they "give her stuff" all the time. She has a good job and doesn't have to go to jail, she still gets to give Dad his medicine and cook his meals and go out to eat and hang out with him. Her income is decent for a single woman. She has a paycheck and her social security income as well.

By the way, her social security was something we found out too. She would, on a regular basis, talk about how much longer she would have until she took out social security when the truth was she applied for it the minute she was eligible. Again, that's fine. It's hers to do with what she wanted, but she hid it, and had extra income coming in and never told Dad and then lied about it all the time.

Dad would still get calls from collectors and a long story short, I got a phone call saying that they were looking for Dad for theft on a financial institution. I called dad and added him to the call. They had checks written for large amounts on a closed account and it looked suspicious. So again, Dad and I went back to the bank and tried to figure things out. And sure enough in 2013 she wrote the checks but put a stop payment on them. One question came to mind, how did she put stop to anything if she wasn't listed on the account? The bank had no answers since it happened in 2013. They did say, it shouldn't have happened under any circumstances. When it comes to these checks though the statute of limitations had run out for any legal action against Dad. But I got to thinking... when we closed the account in August of 2018 did any checks try to clear after that? Sure enough, there were 3 checks. One was just over a hundred dollars and we were able to trace that one down because it was local. The other two...one was for over $600 and the other was for over $1000 but the bank could not tell us who it was to, because they didn't have the picture of it, but there was a long explanation of how it worked when the check was returned. When Dad called her and asked her about the checks, sure enough they were to payday loans.

Those two checks that haven't been settled, can prosecute Dad still. We sit and wait until the statute of limitations runs out criminally in August of this year. Dad could still go to jail. It's his account, his check, and his name signed on that signature line. Civil statutes, if I remember correctly have another two years past that so we will wait and see. I asked Dad what he would do if they came after him in civil court. He said he would just pay it. One more thing she gets of the hook for.

So, before we went and visited with the civil attorney Justin and I went back through the bank statements to get an idea of what amount we were looking at that she fleeced from Dad. I hope you are finally ready for some numbers.

Keep in mind, I only have 5 years worth of bank statements. They were together for almost 28 years. (27 years 363 days to be exact)

So in 5 years time:

She forged checks to herself that totaled - $13,570.00

ATM withdrawals - $89,904.52

The small loan payments - $24,036.77

These numbers don't include the countless bank fees for overdraft and NSF charges that were in the thousands and the bills she paid for her son, because again, I have no problem helping out your child at any age, we don't like that she lied about it and hid it from dad. That number was quite large in itself. She said he paid her back and that's between them, but the money was never replaced into Dad's account so where it go?

Like I said before this was only a 5 year glimpse into things. And I know I sound like a bitter shrew putting pen to paper the way we did, but Justin and I were lenient on this, believe it or not. We didn't include Christmas or birthday shopping or the small charges here and there like an ATM run for smaller amounts, because we all need a little cash every now an again. We know you have to buy things and live life. We aren't completely heartless. I promise. What we totaled were the "what the crap" things that made no sense. The ATM runs were ridiculous, and sometimes she would withdraw $600 for 3 days in a row or more (that was the bank's daily max). If you could truly see all the transactions, it's mind blowing.

So all totaled for the 5 years - $200,375.31

So if you used that as an average and multiplied it by 5.5 to equal the 27.5 years, the total would be:

$1,102,064.20

That is also not factoring her money stole from the property management company or anyone else. This is just what is on Dad's bank statements. This is also not including pawn transactions and several other things.

What do you think?

Probably the same thing we do. We have lots of questions that will never be answered. We constantly questioned Dad as to why he's OK having her around for anything. We stayed frustrated at even hearing her name or seeing her car in his driveway. We know we still don't know everything and probably never will. We know she is still lying to those around her and playing this as anyone's fault but her own. She will tell you she's just a poor victim of circumstance and that everything she did was out of love for my dad. (Gag)

We don't want her to lose her job, because she will then have a loss of income and we don't want to give her any reason to actually move all the way back in with Dad.

Despite what has been said, we don't hate her, she was a big part of our lives for a long time. However, we are very angry and refuse to accept any kind of reconciliation. We do hate what she's done. We hate that she thinks life should go back to normal. We hate that she will do it again.

We know that what we have to do is wish her the best life and pray that she moves on and soon, but as we told her, she found the perfect victim in my dad because of how kind and trusting he is. It's hard wishing prosperity for criminal like that. It tests every ounce of character I have on a regular basis.

In a moment of transparency for me... I do wish for her to go to jail. I believe strongly that she needs to be held accountable. We are left with no choice, and that will have to happen on its own. She gotten away with things for years and sometimes decades so we will just have to wait for someone to catch her, and hope that when they do, they prosecute. Patience.

Well is this the end? Sorta.

We thought it was.

But, we were wrong.

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