So where does this leave us? This two year road of lies, fraud and unanswered questions, how does it end? I wished I could tell you this ended the way we wanted, but it doesn't.
In the times and gaps I haven't mentioned, her visits to Dad became more and more frequent. We would go out to feed horses and she would text him and ask if we had left yet. And sure enough the minute we were on the highway, she would be crossing it on her way to his house. She started leaving small things at his house here and there. A Kleenex box by the spot she used to sit, some crossword puzzles, a pair of glasses, etc. Dumb things that wouldn't matter in a normal course of events. Dad even said he went and got flowers to plant, but I knew she probably picked them out because they were the purple petunias she would plant every year. I don't like purple petunias anymore. While there is the possibility that Dad picked them out on his own, it still honored her and makes me sick to my stomach.
We always had conversations with Dad about why wouldn't he just tell her to stop. He always talked about how conflicted he was and felt bad for her because she doesn't have anyone. Of course, our response is... there's a reason for that. Lots of questions, and we would encourage him, got him some counseling but more and more her vehicle was there. At one point, he said that we weren't letting him live his life the way he wanted and that he felt that no matter what he did he was hurting someone. Of course, me being me, I told him that if he walked away the only one he was hurting was her, but being with her hurt the rest of the family and it grieved me that she had that much power and control in his life. He swears she doesn't, and that he's in control. He has no idea or just doesn't care. I can't tell which.
Before we ever started this blog I asked Dad if I could do this and tell the story and he say "sure, whatever makes you feel better". Justin was there and heard the whole conversation. So we talked about it and mulled it over for a while before we even wrote the first one.
The first post was published on June 4th. We posted almost every day trying to get the foundation set before we told the things we really wanted to. So by June 11th we had five posts published. That day I was taking Hagen to the high school to get fitted for his letter jacket and less than a block from the school my phone rang. It was Dad.
He said "what's this website y'all have out?" I said, "the blog?" He instantly blew up. He said "I didn't give permission for that." I reminded him of the conversation we had, I remembered it word for word and Justin heard it all too. He said he didn't know it was going to be like that. So my next question was how did she find out about it. He said "it doesn't matter." We went back and forth. I pointed out that he wasn't mad about the situation until she was and we all we were doing was telling the truth.
He continued to repeat that we weren't letting him live his life. I told him he could live his life and make choices but I didn't have to sit by and watch him destroy his life again. He told me to take down the blog or I had to move my horses and all my stuff and we would just "part ways". I called Johnathon and told him what was going on and we started making plans to move our animals and stuff. I walked into the room where the letter jacket fitting was at, I was so upset and angry at some of the words exchanged that I was shaking. I have no clue what we ordered on the letter jacket, so hope it turns out nice.
So then he called Justin:
My conversation with him went like this. “That insta website thing you have up about me and her take it down”. I quickly said No dad. He said “y’all don’t have permission any more“. I was getting ready to go out of town and he would watch our dog for us and he told me that if we didn’t take it down that he couldn’t watch him for us. I told him that was fine. He said we didn’t have permission to use his name. I told him we didn’t say his name once, we only used her first name. He said “Well if you don’t take it down you just need to stay away. Y’all aren’t letting me live my life. I’m 65 years old”. I told him that we aren’t preventing him from doing anything and by him trying to force us to take down the blog he wasn’t letting me live my life. I also told him that since he was kicking me out of his life I didn’t need his permission anymore. We hung up and I was shaking I was so angry. I called my wife and Crystal to tell them what happened. Crystal then told me about her conversation with him. I quickly texted him and told him that I could not believe that he was taking her side and choosing her over his kids and grandkids. So I got to thinking about him saying the insta website, so I went on my Instagram and found that she was following me. To be honest, I expected her to find it at some point. I quickly blocked her from my Instagram and he blocked my number from his phone. Well my family decided to not allow this to prevent us from seeing the rest of the family. 4th of July weekend, we still went to my grandfathers lake house and had a blast. We kept to ourselves and he kept to his. We were civil when we needed to be. I hope he saw us having fun without acknowledging him and I hope and pray he realizes what he has lost. Maybe someday.
So Johnathon and I got plans in order to move our things. Dad was just so angry. One afternoon, Hagen and a friend of ours went to go pick up a four-wheeler that the friend had out there. We left it out there to rope the dummy off of, and Dad went out there and was just explosive. I can't tell you all exactly what was said because I wasn't there. But the friend told us, that how he talked to my son, was very aggressive and he "would never let someone talk to his son that way." As it would any parent, it angered me and Johnathon. Hagen had nothing to do with any of it. Dad denies saying anything out of line, but I honestly don't know.
It became really petty quickly over fence pipe. Who owned what and who gave away what. Dumb, it's just dumb. The pipe and the thought of us taking the pipe enraged Dad even further saying "that's the thanks I get for all the labor out there." The thing that hurts my heart is we really did try everything we could to be appreciative of everything Dad did. We never took it for granted, but I guess it was never enough.
Johnathon tried to tell Dad that it was going to take us some time to get our stuff off of the land, Dad said we had one week. Johnathon's response was "or what you'll burn it"? In return Dad said he was going to give it away. To which Johnathon's response was "if you do I will have you and her thrown in jail." Probably not the right response. Inflammatory yes, threatening no. So now Dad's story is that Johnathon threatened him. So it spiraled even further after that point that Dad wasn't going to let us get any of our things unless a judge told him to, he would let us have our things if we let him have the pipe and on and on and on. Just hateful things... "anything to get rid of y'all" is what he said. While some of the things Johnathon said (he blocked me so I couldn't say anything) were angry, they never crossed the line, in my opinion. I'm sure Dad's is different. We ended up having to have the sheriff meet us out there so we could get our equipment and whatever else remained.
I haven't talked to my dad since.
I still don't understand it all. Dad is way more angry at Justin and me than he ever has been at her. We never set out to hurt anyone. We just wanted to tell the truth so that she couldn't hide anymore. Is this how I pictured this blog ending? Not even close.
There's so much that could be said, but it would be out of anger or hurt and I didn't want this to be a rant for us or anything like that, we just wanted to tell the truth and expose the lies. I don't know what the future holds and what is fixable, if anything.
It's discouraging to think, but you almost want to concede and say "she won". But the best I can muster is, she wins, for now. I'm still praying that somewhere she will get caught for something. But in the meantime, she got what she wanted. Dad all to herself. And now no one is standing over her shoulder asking questions and making her be cautious of all she's perpetrating.
As a daughter, I stay concerned. I've cut the ties Dad asked me to, but I pray all the time for his safety and well-being and that anything that is in the dark be exposed to the light. So yes, he gets to live his life and make his choices without us around, and who knows... maybe they will live happily ever after.
But...
We've been wrong before.
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