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Crystal Cirilo

Red Flags

Updated: Nov 19

Now keep in mind I'm only telling you the big stuff. There were hundreds of smaller red flags along the way that at the time didn't have a lot of significance. Something was always "off." You never could quite put your finger on them, but the story never made sense or it was a weird situation. For instance, the cell phones would both just ironically stop working on the same day and the story would be that the billing was messed up or where they lived they couldn't get service, and then the next day she would have the new cell phones with a new company because the other one "made her mad." It was always something like this with the cable or even orders that were placed online. There was always a weird story as to why things didn't work for them the way it did for all of us. They were always the exception to the rule.

With the frequency that all these things happened options were: they had the worst luck in the world, or someone wasn't being completely honest. We always had questions in the back of our mind of whether or not dad knew how dishonest it appeared, and Justin and I had several conversations but decided that he knew what was going on but was trying to save face with us because it was embarrassing. We figured it was that a bill didn't get paid or they didn't have the money, etc. But, at the same time, she did everything for dad. I mean everything. She would fix his plate of food and serve it to him and get his medicines out and give those to him. Dad thought he had it easy, he didn't have to take care of anything. Including bills and household accounts.

In 2000 I was working in Odessa and Dad called me. That was unusual for him to call while I was at work so I took the phone call outside on the porch. His first words were "she messed up again." Now this phrase about Rhoda messing up had been used before. From what I remember it was always referring to her opening up all those small unsecured short term loans that charge a huge amount of interest and then not paying them back, so they called relentlessly. It was a joke between me and Justin of how many she had open. But, this time it was different.

Dad began to tell me that she had written "a whole bunch" of hot checks in his name. Now here's where the story has kinda changed over the years. In that conversation that day, my understanding was that there was a warrant out for my dad in regards to those checks. The narrative now, according to dad is "I drug her butt into that police station and told them to throw her in jail." And when the person at the police station they were talking to offered restitution, she started saying yes to that before he could get a word out. I wasn't there but this is what I have been told, so I don't 100% know what exactly happen.

He had "kicked her out," which meant she moved into the small green trailer house next door to his. He told her she needed to go to counseling but said all he saw her doing was reading a self-help book. If she went to counseling or not, I have no clue.

I begged dad to just cut his losses and move to Odessa with me. I had an apartment big enough for the two of us and the university he worked for had a location there. I remember telling him this would be a great time to start over. He said no (of course) that he would be fine, and sure enough in a matter of a few weeks she had moved back in and things were "back to normal."

Let's be honest, being married, I have signed my husband's name more times that I can count. It kinda comes with the territory. So writing the hot checks doesn't seem like that big of a deal right? Well, except for the fact, she wasn't authorized anywhere on that account. They didn't have a joint account. She was stealing checks out of my dad's checkbook, writing them to pay for those small loans among other things and forging his name. Making him solely responsible for any and all hot checks.

So later that year, Justin graduated high school in 2000. So that little green trailer house next to Dads I referred to earlier...he moved into it, and in 2001 I moved back from Odessa and moved into it too. It wasn't anything fancy at all but made a great home for two young adults. I can't remember what the exact situation was but we had to borrow Dad's car. It was an older car and again, I don't remember what we were looking for, I think it was a tire gauge but not completely sure.

There laying in the glove box was one of dad's checkbooks. It wasn't in a case of anything it was just out in the open and the top check was partially made out. Knowing of the "hot check situation" we picked it up and looked at it because it was definitely her handwriting. But on the signature line ... was the letter "S" and looked like it had been scribbled on, like you do when you realize you make a mistake.

We sat there in that car wondering "why would she sign an S,""whose name do we know that starts with S." We talked about giving the checkbook to dad and showing him, but didn't want to start any trouble so we put it back and gave her the benefit of the doubt that maybe that was an old checkbook and during the time she was writing the other checks and she had changed her ways.

We were wrong.




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Crystal Cirilo
Jun 07, 2020

Don’t know Any “s”

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Crystal Mott
Crystal Mott
Jun 07, 2020

Daaaaang. “S”?!?!? 🧐🤔

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